The Last Sook

The future remains uncertain. After many long hours talking with family, I have decided not to look for work. Things are too tough in this country area, there are people with Uni degrees working in takeaways, Target, Kmart etc.

Plus after the last effort, I'm hesitant to put myself through the ordeal again. Very demoralising. Of course, if a job happens to land in my lap, that's a different matter.

I've been busy in the garden though, spending a lot just in case we have to sell. I want it looking fantastic to maximise $$$. Next on the list will be the painting I still have to finish from last summer. Actually there's a long list of stuff which will keep me busy for months, including the "caves". (Sheds)

And if we don't have to sell, well I'll have a lot of time to sit and admire my handy work. Not looking forward to cleaning out the gutters though! Next door has trees on the boundary fence that hang over our roof, we now have babies (trees) growing in the guttering. Reckon they should come and clean them out, but that won't happen. We asked them to cut them back months ago. due to the high wind speeds we were / are experiencing and also the fact that they overhang my bedroom, which makes me nervous during storms. No, not going to happen.

Anyway, hopefully this is the last sook I'll be having and will look forward to posting on a more regular basis, and also some decent topics. :)

Still Trapped - A Lesson Learned

I haven't escaped yet, but it's getting closer. The boss sends me messages through G. Ask her to return the uniform please. What does she think I would do with it? Wear the bloody thing for fun? Yeah, right.

Actually, I send her messages through G too. Can you tell me when to expect my termination pay? I didn't get an answer.

I can feel myself retreating from the rest of the world. All I want to do is be by myself, the phone keeps ringing, I don't answer it. If someone knocks on the door, I ignore it.

One day........down the track, I'll tell you about this particular job, what I did, how people are ripped off. BUT only after I get paid out, including the 7 months worth of Super that hasn't been paid into my nominated fund.

Look at your next job offer, research the company and directors before you make the worst mistake of your lives, like G and I did. If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is. We may just go into bankruptcy because of these smooth talkers.

Denim

It looks like life is back to sleeping in. I have had two interviews, and one no thank you. One more interview on Thursday afternoon.

So.......back to sleeping in, and wearing jeans. I still have not quite escaped this hell hole, but only have 4 days to go. This is pay week though, so getting paid on time or even at all, remains to be seen.

It will be great to finally go home to stay, I have really missed it, and the DOG. Fancy having him two houses away, and having visitation rights only. However, we did agree that if we were to return, they would keep the dog. Fair is fair. I have to say, I don't miss the hair. Long haired Saints are continually shedding. I swear you could spin the hair and knit a jumper out of it.

I have finally got somewhere with the Dept of Immigration, and am allowed to sit my citizenship test on the 26th May. About time too! I had a very understanding person on the other end of the phone, who showed a lot of common sense. No around and around the "what is your passposrt number", I don't have one, "what is your permanent residency number", I don't have one, etc. No arguments this time.:)

Anyway, back to sleeping in.........

Annonymous

Interesting day. Hmmm........ Annonymous. No faces, no names.


Today I voiced my opinion regarding the non payment of wages, and my negative outlook at the present time because of this. It ended up a total fiasco.

My husband resigned. The boss went nuts.

A little later..........I was asked to resign, I refused. She basically said she would make life very difficult, and that I couldn't do my job properly. Which I can, by the way. My performance targets are way up, on one side, the other side is unmarketable in it's present form, as has been documented in numerous meetings, by her. But, like all good bosses, she changed her mind and blamed it on me.

The thing is, unless they actually produce the product, and the purchaser pays in full, I don't get commission. People get sick of waiting, pull out, and I lose out. I reckon around $14,000 this financial year.

Crashed, Trapped & Burned

Have you ever got to that place in your life, when you feel you have crashed and burned? I don't mean literally.

That place where you feel you can go no further, you are stuck. Everything seems to be at a standstill. Stuck in a job you don't like, in a place that you hate more and more each day.

You feel you will be at this place forever, no moving on. You've given up on being well off, with a reasonable house and NO mortgage. I forgot to ad the credit card, definitely NO creditcard. Well, no credit card debt, anyway.

The car, another thing I'd love to ditch. Payments, that is.

I have a job interview next week, I guess in the end it will become the same. A means to an end. It just feels as if it will never end.

I'm not sure if I have ever loved my job. I can't remember when I last jumped out of bed, and couldn't wait to get to work. I don't think it has ever happened.

The icing on the cake: Not being paid on time. Three times in a row. Can you believe they told us to move our direct debits forward 2 days, because they couldn't guarantee we'd be paid on time? I believe the words were "We'll go broke together" Can you believe that shit?

I rebelled and got to work very, very late. When asked my reason, I said if she couldn't pay me on time, I couldn't get to work on time.

On another topic, Victoria still has 15 fires buning. Different areas being threatened, more stress on families. Now they are talking about only re- building the homes that were insured, how un fair is that? Over two thousand homes lost, and two and a half thousand sheds, multiple businesses.

I guess that's my bit said for the end of the month.

Angels Hell

This morning when I woke up, I wondered where the fun in my life had disappeared to. When exactly, did life become all work and no play? Did it just happen? Or did I work myself up to it?

The realisation came a couple of days ago, the catalyst I believe, was when I couldn't find my favourite white shirt.

I turned the wardrobe upside down, looked in the washing basket, and in the dryer. The fairies must have nicked it, along with by black heels.

I decided to clean the wardrobe ( two wardrobes) and drawers out, with a strict policy, if I hadn't worn it for a year, out it goes.

Washing and ironing done, everything hanging in color coded order. Shoes in the same order on the rack, bags lined up on the shelves. Knickers and bras folded neatly, along with socks and stockings.

Since when did I need 18 white shirts and only wear 3, and how come I have 22 pairs of knickers? As if I didn't do the washing a couple of times a week! So many pairs of shoes, of which I wear only a couple, because the rest kill my feet. And, the bag I had to have, which I bought 3 months ago, and cost the best part of $200. I loved it in the shop, I don't like it any more, so it is lined up with the other 11 bags. To top it off, I haven't used it.

When did this happen to me, how could I let it happen? My credit card bill is $17,000. No wonder I work long hours and hardly get a spare minute to myself. I'm too busy being an over spender, over achiever, making sure my team never fails to meet their monthly sales target, and being a "can do, no problem" person for the boss. When did I start working 12 hour days? Can't remember, it just sort of happened along the way.

I get stressed and mail order. Work stresses, family stresses, they have merged and become one. I can no longer draw a line between the two. There is no time to de-stress, no time to sit and do nothing. No time for my favourite things, reading, blogging, gardening, I can't dance either, it isn't 'productive'.

I say no time because I have to be busy, I can't relax, have lost the art of reading for pleasure, and doing nothing. When was the last time I had fun, without shopping? I can't remember, it's too long ago. When was the last time I didn't feel pressure, from one source or another, and when exactly was the last day I didn't have a headache?

How did I turn into this person? When did I start to look at the world from the outside, instead of joining in? How do I find my way back home?

Angels Feathers Falling Out

I think my wings are falling off, from lack of use. Something is very weird and strange. What is it? NOTHING, that's what's strange.

Everything is flowing smoothly, see what I mean? Think I like it, and could get used to it very easily.

The job seems to be working out, the car is great, I have the whole weekend off, and I am not homesick. I have even got used to not seeing Diesel.

See what I mean? NORMAL, well nearly. Janice has gone missing, along with B, and I hope they are OK.

I have got hooked on a game, which is not like me at all. It is mesmerising, and all I do all night is shoot balls. It is Absolutist Bubbles. I haven't blogged, nor opened my email for a couple of weeks.

Maybe it is me who has gone missing? Probably. I have tried not to play, but I have to, it's like a drug. Not that I take drugs, well only prescription one's.

I danced in front of an audience for the first time in 4 years, it was impromptu, but fun. I have lost a little of the 'flow' with the movement. Something that was a little different for me, I didn't have a glass of gin and half a tranquiler beforehand. That was probably because it wasn't planned, and I didn't agonise over it prior to. Anyway, the best thing was everyone had a little fun, and we all need fun in our lives now and then.

Angel's Bellydancing.

Personally, I like the Toad. She (I am assuming is it a she), looks like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders and is not smiling! I wonder why?

Maybe she is doing a belly roll, it's hard to smile while you are concentrating on belly rolls, especially one's that are timed to the drum, eg: a sharp drop from the diaphragm to the pelvic bone.

On the other hand I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I haven't danced in weeks, not since this mess started, but I am now in the mood, and it feels fantastic.

It feels good to be back to normal, or as normal as I can get it. G is suffering from cabin fever though. It's funny that his starts as mine lifts. That's possibly because I have been here 4 weeks longer than him.

I still don't know what to do with the house, G wants to sell. I am not sure about that, and want to wait a much longer period. House prices are down, and mortgage rates rising. I think we owe too much to make a sale worthwhile.





Anyway, I'm off to dance practice. Yea!

Angel Sitting Pretty

As my regular readers will have noticed, some of my posts have disappeared. If you are wondering why, think back to those posts and you will understand the reasoning behind "WHY".

Everything has been turned around, except for one point which will be clarified tomorrow. Signed documents have been faxed. Hence, sitting pretty.

I bought a new car, pick it up on Wednesday. Not the preferred colour, but the deal was too good too miss. It goes like the clappers, and with me living on site, it will take 2 years to get to the first service!

I never thought I would buy one of these, but I was hooked after 5 minutes of driving. Don't like the colour of the body (black), but it's better than red. Nor do I like the red and black leather seats, which I will hide with seat covers. I do like the nice sleek lines and the sunroof.

What is it? It's Korean, made by the 5th largest vehicle manufacturer in the world.

Guess!