Up Side Down Angel

This Angel is up side down. Not just the picture, that's me, upside down, back to front, in side out, and sideways. My world has reached a fork in the road, and is about to change big time.

Bye bye house with no neighbours, my stunning unbroken view of the mountains, my peace and quiet, and my privacy.

My beautiful Diesel, and the cat we inherited when we bought the house, both have to go.

Why? G has a new job. He has to live on site, no animals. So, weigh it all up on the scales, my husband or Diesel and the house? Husband, of course.

I have decided to keep two houses going for a while, just in case I hate it, or I have to get away, or............for whatever reason. I don't want to sell it, or rent it out, it's my piece of heaven, my retreat and half of my world.

It's thrown me. I have to support G in is career move. Really I don't have a choice, he has supported me through all my life choices and changes. It's about time he had some good stuff developing, especially after everything that has happened to him this year.

He handed in his resignation at work yesterday afternoon. The wheels of a Government department have been put into motion, no turning back now.

So, I have been feeling pretty awful since last night, unsettled, and today I'm freaking out. I thought I'd be fine, but I'm not. I don't want to move my furniture either, that would put the seal of finality in place. I have no idea what to do.

Split Personality Angel

The good me is good, I mean really good. I work hard and don't play hard. Hell, I don't even have time to play! I am cool and calm, with not a hair out of place. I meet and greet, the epitome of graciousness. Mrs. Perfect, that's me.

The bad me only comes out now and again, and everyone knows about it. They all breathe a sigh of relief when she has gone.

Remember, I am female. I hord all the little slights, the odd comment here and there, you know the ones. They cut you to pieces on the inside, but you don't let them see it on the outside.Those little twists and turns of life that I sort of stockpile ,saving them until one special day comes along, that forces me to morph.

Into the second me, maybe I should say, the secret me. It was one of those days yesterday.

The funeral, flights out, kids out of their own environment and routine, a house full of people you are related to, but really hardly know, new job,............all that sort of stuff, caused me to morph.

Why is it that after a death, the closest to the deceased need to fight? Why argue over the smallest things? He had told them exactly who was to get what, and they still fight tooth and nail over it. She did this, he said that.

Well, they don't love me any more. I told them exactly what I thought of them, their bad behaviour, and disrespect, especially toward the deceased's Mum, whom they pretty much ignored.

I doubt they will be returning any time soon. Thank Goddess for that. I don't even like them.

Angel , Demons , Four B's and X.

The demon in this instance, is Bush and the US administration. At least one of my B's, possibly two, voted Bush back into office.

Just prior to the last US election, my Uncle B the first, sent me an email. Told me that if Al Gore was elected, he was going to leave the US in disgust and move to Aus. and to look for a property nearby for him.

I got the shock of my life. I could not believe he wanted Bush to serve a second term. Being a dutiful niece, I would never disrespect him by telling him I thought he was nuts. I did not send a return email.

I have another Uncle there, Uncle B the second. He also surprised me, not by voting for Bush, but by telling me the US was God's own country. He was bursting with the pride that we see in their military forces. I can remember, when I was much younger, being told by this B that the country X, was the land of milk and honey.

Then there is Aunt B, she is the third of my B's and is one classy lady. She is also in the US, but very covert in her thoughts. She sent me some pictures of Tabriz, where she and my mother were born, saying she would hate to see anything happen to that beautiful city. I figured there was a hidden meaning mixed in there.

None of them have said one word about Iraq. I can't believe they said nothing. Have they been struck deaf? Do they not read the paper, or watch the news? Or is it laundered, smoothed over so as not to invade their delicate senses?

Thank goodness for my Mother, who is distraught at the devastation wrought in Iraq. Mum has no trouble voicing her disgust regarding the USA, possibly because she does not live there. She has some very interesting stories to tell about CIA 'black' ops, misinformation, intervention, and the last Shah of Iran. I will save those stories for another time.

Who is the fourth B? That is Bush, and thank Ishtar he does not belong to my family of B's.

As for country X, there are branches of my family everywhere, with roots reaching into Iraq, Iran, Turkey, Armenia, Syria. They are all lands of milk and honey, according to each individual branch.