Trapped

We all live in some sort of web, trapped by life. It happens, and life goes on.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Panic/Anxiety Disorder, Depression.


Depression is something we all have, at one stage in our life. Whether we admit to it, is another thing entirely. For most, it is something that last's a few weeks at a time. For others it is a noose around their necks, that gets tighter and tighter.

There are those that don't believe Depression is "real", and tell you to pull yourself together, and get on with life. Try explaining it to them, it just doesn't work.


There are two schools of thought on Panic/Anxiety/Depression.

1. Depression sets of Panic/Anxiety.
2. Panic/Anxiety sets off Depression.

I don't feel I had the Depression side, although thinking back, I probably should have. If it recurred, I know I would.

PTSD, Panic/Anxiety, is my area, I know it intimately and hate it with a vengence. My Panic Attacks started round 15 years ago, after I started a new job, in a high pressure area. I had absolutely no training for this position, and thought I knew it all. By the time 6 weeks were up, I was a mess, having panic attacks, but not recognising what "it" was.

Vomiting, shaking, crawling skin, rapid heart rate, frozen on the spot, unable to talk, no sleep, night sweats, buzzing head, violent headache's, irritable bowel syndrome, duodenal ulcers. The final insult, my hair fell out.

One day, I just didn't go to work. I couldn't. I rang and told them I was unable to continue. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It took 2 years to claim some sort of life back and another 8 before I felt I was truly able to face a return to some form of work. I am, to this day still taking a 'maintenance' dose of meds. Neither I, nor my Doctor envisage my life without it.

Luckily my family were supportive, and my husband truly amazing. I do not know if I could have faced it alone. I will never know, and I don't want to. I am, once more in a high pressure job, and am coping well with a 6 day week.

I might add, in amongst this my daughter, Mandy, died in an accident.

This is only a small part of that journey. I want people to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and not to ever give up hope.























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