An emotive portrait by itself, without taking into account the memory of a child that is lost to you.The meaning of lost doesn't necessarily mean dead. There are many ways to lose a child, death is one that I have already experienced. Drugs and alcohol are two more, but you love them always, no matter what.
I've been told to implement "tough love", a strategy for a parent to use in times of crises. I don't think I can do it, I'm not that strong.
I keep waiting for a call that says he is dead, or one that says he has had another heart attack, due to drug and alcohol abuse. Note: I said 'another'.
For months I have been unable to sleep, except on rare occasions. For months every time my head hits the pillow, I have panic attacks. Every time I shut my eyes his face appears. I don't know what to do any more. In my own way, I am as lost as he is.
I have had this pic for months, I have written about it many times and not published anything. It's to damn hard.
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