HOW WOULD YOU FEEL

Israel, what have you done

Oh, Israel, what have you done??

I found the following, apparently nothing has changed. I have tried to publish with the link included twice here, and three times on another blog. What is that telling you? Zionists not happy with the criticism?

Quest for Justice. - By Judith StoneNovember 2002 . Originally published in the Kansas City Jewish Chronicle. The editor who accepted the article for publication was promptly fired.

I am a Jew. I was a participant in the Rally for the Right of Return to Palestine. It was the right thing to do. I've heard about the European holocaust against the Jews since I was a small child. I've visited the memorials in Washington, DC and Jerusalem dedicated to Jewish lives lost and I've cried at the recognition to what level of atrocity mankind is capable of sinking.

Where are the Jews of conscience? No righteous malice can be held against the survivors of Hitler's holocaust. These fragments of humanity were in no position to make choices beyond that of personal survival. We must not forget that being a survivor or a co-religionist of the victims of the European Holocaust does not grant dispensation from abiding by the rules of humanity.

"Never again" as a motto, rings hollow when it means "never again to us alone." My generation was raised being led to believe that the biblical land was a vast desert inhabited by a handful of impoverished Palestinians living with their camels and eking out a living in the sand. The arrival of the Jews was touted as a tremendous benefit to these desert dwellers. Golda Mier even assured us that there "is no Palestinian problem."

We know now this picture wasn't as it was painted. Palestine was a land filled with people who called it home. There were thriving towns and villages, schools and hospitals. There were Jews, Christians and Muslims. In fact, prior to the occupation, Jews represented a mere 7 percent of the population and owned 3 percent of the land.

Taking the blinders off for a moment, I see a second atrocity perpetuated by the very people who should be exquisitely sensitive to the suffering of others. These people knew what it felt like to be ordered out of your home at gun point and forced to march into the night to unknown destinations or face execution on the spot. The people who displaced the Palestinians knew first hand what it means to watch your home in flames, to surrender everything dear to your heart at a moment's notice. Bulldozers leveled hundreds of villages, along with the remains of the village inhabitants, the old and the young. This was nothing new to the world.

Poland is a vast graveyard of the Jews of Europe. Israel is the final resting place of the massacred Palestinian people. A short distance from the memorial to the Jewish children lost to the holocaust in Europe there is a leveled parking lot. Under this parking lot is what's left of a once flourishing village and the bodies of men, women and children whose only crime was taking up needed space and not leaving graciously. This particular burial marker reads: "Public Parking".

I've talked with Palestinians. I have yet to meet a Palestinian who hasn't lost a member of their family to the Israeli Shoah, nor a Palestinian who cannot name a relative or friend languishing under inhumane conditions in an Israeli prison. Time and time again, Israel is cited for human rights violations to no avail. On a recent trip to Israel, I visited the refugee camps inhabited by a people who have waited 52 years in these 'temporary' camps to go home. Every Palestinian grandparent can tell you the name of their village, their street, and where the olive trees were planted.

Their grandchildren may never have been home, but they can tell you where their great-grandfather lies buried and where the village well stood. The press has fostered the portrait of the Palestinian terrorist. But, the victims who rose up against human indignity in the Warsaw Ghetto are called heroes. Those who lost their lives are called martyrs. The Palestinian who tosses a rock in desperation is a terrorist.

Two years ago I drove through Palestine and watched intricate sprinkler systems watering lush green lawns of Zionist settlers in their new condominium complexes, surrounded by armed guards and barbed wire in the midst of a Palestinian community where there was not adequate water to drink and the surrounding fields were sandy and dry. University professor Moshe Zimmerman reported in the Jerusalem Post (April 30, 1995), "The [Jewish] children of Hebron are just like Hitler's youth."

We Jews are suing for restitution, lost wages, compensation for homes, land, slave labor and back wages in Europe. Am I a traitor of a Jew for supporting the right of return of the Palestinian refugees to their birthplace and compensation for what was taken that cannot be returned?

The Jewish dead cannot be brought back to life and neither can the Palestinian massacred be resurrected. David Ben Gurion said, "Let us not ignore the truth among ourselves... politically, we are the aggressors and they defend themselves ...The country is theirs, because they inhabit it, whereas we want to come here and settle down, and in their view we want to take away from them their country..."

Palestine is a land that has been occupied and emptied of its people. It's cultural and physical landmarks have been obliterated and replaced by tidy Hebrew signs. The history of a people was the first thing eradicated by the occupiers. The history of the indigenous people has been all but eradicated >as though they never existed. And all this has been hailed by the world as a miraculous act of G-d. We must recognize that Israel's existence is not even a question of legality so much as it is an illegal fait accompli realized through the use of force while supported by the Western powers. The UN missions directed at Israel in attempting to correct its violations of have thus far been futile.

In Hertzl's "The Jewish State," the father of Zionism said, "...We must investigate and take possession of the new Jewish country by means of every modern expedient." I guess I agree with Ehud Barak (3 June 1998) when he said, "If I were a Palestinian, I'd also join a terror group." I'd go a step further perhaps. Rather than throwing little stones in desperation, I'd hurtle a boulder.

Hopefully, somewhere deep inside, every Jew of conscience knows that this was no war; that this was not G-d's restitution of the holy land to it's rightful owners. We know that a human atrocity was and continues to be perpetuated against an innocent people who couldn't come up with the arms and money to defend themselves against the western powers bent upon their demise as a people.

We cannot continue to say, "But what were we to do?" Zionism is not synonymous with Judaism. I wholly support the rally of the right of return of the Palestinian people.
Originally published in the Kansas City Jewish Chronicle. The editor who accepted the article for publication was promptly fired.
(CX5256)

Back to Normal Angel

Back to a normal template after a few weeks. Thank goodness. That thing was way too 'busy' for me. I think I may do some color co-ordinating, back to my previous look. Except for the comment section, have no idea why they are not showing up.

Back to normal at work too, after the holiday 'cruising' mode, in the land of answering machines and no-one home.

Gee, did I get into trouble at work today. Not technically my fault, but I am in the line of fire, because of the economy. I have people backing out of deals left, right and centre.

Not little deals either, although I agree that if I sold Mobile Phones, those deals would be just as precious to me.

Today I lost $1,352,420.07 worth. Yes, it does have 6 zero's. I think I may have to kiss goodbye to my annual leave, starting on 23rd. I don't think I am game to let go for 2 weeks. Very scary stuff.

This is the first time the state of the economy has affected me, in any way. Talk about creditcard crunch time, and a pay packet with no commission. Now there is a scary thought.

Angels Silent World

In case you're all wondering!

Silence is Golden. I am very p'd off with the world at the moment, but will no doubt get over it in a few days.

Please remember:

DON'T USE HALOSCAN: THEY "DISAPPEAR" YOUR COMMENTS IF YOU DON'T PAY FOR A BLOG UPGRADE.

Nearly two years of "disappeared" comments. Grrrr!

Angel of Peace

This last weekend has been peaceful (for me). Three days off. Four mobiles turned off, didn't log into work emails at all. No TV, no 6 O'clock News to make me cry. Again.

We went home to our house in the hills. The view from the front looks into the valley below, the rear view is straight to Mt. Baw Baw, not a house in sight. It is a magical place to heal your heart and soul.

I often think we should rent the house out, help pay the mortgage, also help pay the creditcard off. In reality, I don't know how I would feel if I couldn't escape from the house at work to the house at home. Would renters look after it like I do, would they enjoy being away from towns? Would they like talking to the Fox that sits on the end of my porch every night? Or feed the King Parrots that flock to the yard most days. I even have a resident owl. I forgot the Kookaburras, the big gum is their feeding place most evenings, around 7.

I had been extremely ill for 2 months prior to moving in, and spent 3 weeks in critical care a couple of weeks after moving in. This was the second scare and major surgery in 6 months. When I came home from hospital, all I could do was walk a few steps, and either sit or lie down. I gravitated to the back porch, where I sat and smoked, (yes, I know) and looked at the view for a couple of months. I firmly believe the house had a lot to do with my recovery, both physical and emotional.

At that time I had unpacked boxes everywhere, it took me months to unpack the majority. To this day 4 years later, there are still some unpacked boxes. I wonder what's in them? More stuff I don't need, or treasures I thought I had lost?

At peace, for now.

Angels Hell

This morning when I woke up, I wondered where the fun in my life had disappeared to. When exactly, did life become all work and no play? Did it just happen? Or did I work myself up to it?

The realisation came a couple of days ago, the catalyst I believe, was when I couldn't find my favourite white shirt.

I turned the wardrobe upside down, looked in the washing basket, and in the dryer. The fairies must have nicked it, along with by black heels.

I decided to clean the wardrobe ( two wardrobes) and drawers out, with a strict policy, if I hadn't worn it for a year, out it goes.

Washing and ironing done, everything hanging in color coded order. Shoes in the same order on the rack, bags lined up on the shelves. Knickers and bras folded neatly, along with socks and stockings.

Since when did I need 18 white shirts and only wear 3, and how come I have 22 pairs of knickers? As if I didn't do the washing a couple of times a week! So many pairs of shoes, of which I wear only a couple, because the rest kill my feet. And, the bag I had to have, which I bought 3 months ago, and cost the best part of $200. I loved it in the shop, I don't like it any more, so it is lined up with the other 11 bags. To top it off, I haven't used it.

When did this happen to me, how could I let it happen? My credit card bill is $17,000. No wonder I work long hours and hardly get a spare minute to myself. I'm too busy being an over spender, over achiever, making sure my team never fails to meet their monthly sales target, and being a "can do, no problem" person for the boss. When did I start working 12 hour days? Can't remember, it just sort of happened along the way.

I get stressed and mail order. Work stresses, family stresses, they have merged and become one. I can no longer draw a line between the two. There is no time to de-stress, no time to sit and do nothing. No time for my favourite things, reading, blogging, gardening, I can't dance either, it isn't 'productive'.

I say no time because I have to be busy, I can't relax, have lost the art of reading for pleasure, and doing nothing. When was the last time I had fun, without shopping? I can't remember, it's too long ago. When was the last time I didn't feel pressure, from one source or another, and when exactly was the last day I didn't have a headache?

How did I turn into this person? When did I start to look at the world from the outside, instead of joining in? How do I find my way back home?

The Angel Sleying - Gaza

We had to expect it again. Innocents slaughtered once more. What will it take for this to stop?

Scrolling through the articles on Gaza, I found the following article at Information Clearing House by Nir Rosen, titled The Logic of Colonial Power.

As so often, the term 'terrorism' has proved a rhetorical smokescreen under cover of which the strong crush the weakBy Nir Rosen December 31, 2008 "The Guardian" -- I have spent most of the Bush administration's tenure reporting from Iraq, Afghanistan, Lebanon, Somalia and other conflicts. I have been published by most major publications. I have been interviewed by most major networks and I have even testified before the senate foreign relations committee. The Bush administration began its tenure with Palestinians being massacred and it ends with Israel committing one of its largest massacres yet in a 60-year history of occupying Palestinian land. Bush's final visit to the country he chose to occupy ended with an educated secular Shiite Iraqi throwing his shoes at him, expressing the feelings of the entire Arab world save its dictators who have imprudently attached themselves to a hated American regime.

Once again, the Israelis bomb the starving and imprisoned population of Gaza. The world watches the plight of 1.5 million Gazans live on TV and online; the western media largely justify the Israeli action. Even some Arab outlets try to equate the Palestinian resistance with the might of the Israeli military machine. And none of this is a surprise. The Israelis just concluded a round-the-world public relations campaign to gather support for their assault, even gaining the collaboration of Arab states like Egypt.

The international community is directly guilty for this latest massacre. Will it remain immune from the wrath of a desperate people? So far, there have been large demonstrations in Lebanon, Yemen, Jordan, Egypt, Syria and Iraq. The people of the Arab world will not forget. The Palestinians will not forget. "All that you have done to our people is registered in our notebooks," as the poet Mahmoud Darwish said.

I have often been asked by policy analysts, policy-makers and those stuck with implementing those policies for my advice on what I think America should do to promote peace or win hearts and minds in the Muslim world. It too often feels futile, because such a revolution in American policy would be required that only a true revolution in the American government could bring about the needed changes. An American journal once asked me to contribute an essay to a discussion on whether terrorism or attacks against civilians could ever be justified. My answer was that an American journal should not be asking whether attacks on civilians can ever be justified. This is a question for the weak, for the Native Americans in the past, for the Jews in Nazi Germany, for the Palestinians today, to ask themselves.

Terrorism is a normative term and not a descriptive concept. An empty word that means everything and nothing, it is used to describe what the Other does, not what we do. The powerful – whether Israel, America, Russia or China – will always describe their victims' struggle as terrorism, but the destruction of Chechnya, the ethnic cleansing of Palestine, the slow slaughter of the remaining Palestinians, the American occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan – with the tens of thousands of civilians it has killed … these will never earn the title of terrorism, though civilians were the target and terrorising them was the purpose.

Counterinsurgency, now popular again among in the Pentagon, is another way of saying the suppression of national liberation struggles. Terror and intimidation are as essential to it as is winning hearts and minds.

Normative rules are determined by power relations. Those with power determine what is legal and illegal. They besiege the weak in legal prohibitions to prevent the weak from resisting. For the weak to resist is illegal by definition. Concepts like terrorism are invented and used normatively as if a neutral court had produced them, instead of the oppressors. The danger in this excessive use of legality actually undermines legality, diminishing the credibility of international institutions such as the United Nations. It becomes apparent that the powerful, those who make the rules, insist on legality merely to preserve the power relations that serve them or to maintain their occupation and colonialism.

Attacking civilians is the last, most desperate and basic method of resistance when confronting overwhelming odds and imminent eradication. The Palestinians do not attack Israeli civilians with the expectation that they will destroy Israel. The land of Palestine is being stolen day after day; the Palestinian people is being eradicated day after day. As a result, they respond in whatever way they can to apply pressure on Israel. Colonial powers use civilians strategically, settling them to claim land and dispossess the native population, be they Indians in North America or Palestinians in what is now Israel and the Occupied Territories. When the native population sees that there is an irreversible dynamic that is taking away their land and identity with the support of an overwhelming power, then they are forced to resort to whatever methods of resistance they can.

Not long ago, 19-year-old Qassem al-Mughrabi, a Palestinian man from Jerusalem drove his car into a group of soldiers at an intersection. "The terrorist", as the Israeli newspaper Haaretz called him, was shot and killed. In two separate incidents last July, Palestinians from Jerusalem also used vehicles to attack Israelis. The attackers were not part of an organisation. Although those Palestinian men were also killed, senior Israeli officials called for their homes to be demolished. In a separate incident, Haaretz reported that a Palestinian woman blinded an Israeli soldier in one eye when she threw acid n his face. "The terrorist was arrested by security forces," the paper said. An occupied citizen attacks an occupying soldier, and she is the terrorist?
In September, Bush spoke at the United Nations. No cause could justify the deliberate taking of human life, he said. Yet the US has killed thousands of civilians in airstrikes on populated areas. When you drop bombs on populated areas knowing there will be some "collateral" civilian damage, but accepting it as worth it, then it is deliberate. When you impose sanctions, as the US did on Saddam era Iraq, that kill hundreds of thousands, and then say their deaths were worth it, as secretary of state Albright did, then you are deliberately killing people for a political goal. When you seek to "shock and awe", as president Bush did, when he bombed Iraq, you are engaging in terrorism.

Just as the traditional American cowboy film presented white Americans under siege, with Indians as the aggressors, which was the opposite of reality, so, too, have Palestinians become the aggressors and not the victims. Beginning in 1948, 750,000 Palestinians were deliberately cleansed and expelled from their homes, and hundreds of their villages were destroyed, and their land was settled by colonists, who went on to deny their very existence and wage a 60-year war against the remaining natives and the national liberation movements the Palestinians established around the world. Every day, more of Palestine is stolen, more Palestinians are killed. To call oneself an Israeli Zionist is to engage in the dispossession of entire people. It is not that, qua Palestinians, they have the right to use any means necessary, it is because they are weak. The weak have much less power than the strong, and can do much less damage. The Palestinians would not have ever bombed cafes or used home-made missiles if they had tanks and airplanes. It is only in the current context that their actions are justified, and there are obvious limits.

It is impossible to make a universal ethical claim or establish a Kantian principle justifying any act to resist colonialism or domination by overwhelming power. And there are other questions I have trouble answering. Can an Iraqi be justified in attacking the United States? After all, his country was attacked without provocation, and destroyed, with millions of refugees created, hundreds of thousands of dead. And this, after 12 years of bombings and sanctions, which killed many and destroyed the lives of many others.

I could argue that all Americans are benefiting from their country's exploits without having to pay the price, and that, in today's world, the imperial machine is not merely the military but a military-civilian network. And I could also say that Americans elected the Bush administration twice and elected representatives who did nothing to stop the war, and the American people themselves did nothing. From the perspective of an American, or an Israeli, or other powerful aggressors, if you are strong, everything you do is justifiable, and nothing the weak do is legitimate. It's merely a question of what side you choose: the side of the strong or the side of the weak.

Israel and its allies in the west and in Arab regimes such as Egypt, Jordan and Saudi Arabia have managed to corrupt the PLO leadership, to suborn them with the promise of power at the expense of liberty for their people, creating a first – a liberation movement that collaborated with the occupier. Israeli elections are coming up and, as usual, these elections are accompanied by war to bolster the candidates. You cannot be prime minister of Israel without enough Arab blood on your hands. An Israeli general has threatened to set Gaza back decades, just as they threatened to set Lebanon back decades in 2006. As if strangling Gaza and denying its people fuel, power or food had not set it back decades already.

The democratically elected Hamas government was targeted for destruction from the day it won the elections in 2006. The world told the Palestinians that they cannot have democracy, as if the goal was to radicalise them further and as if that would not have a consequence. Israel claims it is targeting Hamas's military forces. This is not true. It is targeting Palestinian police forces and killing them, including some such as the chief of police, Tawfiq Jaber, who was actually a former Fatah official who stayed on in his post after Hamas took control of Gaza. What will happen to a society with no security forces? What do the Israelis expect to happen when forces more radical than Hamas gain power?

A Zionist Israel is not a viable long-term project and Israeli settlements, land expropriation and separation barriers have long since made a two state solution impossible. There can be only one state in historic Palestine. In coming decades, Israelis will be confronted with two options. Will they peacefully transition towards an equal society, where Palestinians are given the same rights, à la post-apartheid South Africa? Or will they continue to view democracy as a threat? If so, one of the peoples will be forced to leave. Colonialism has only worked when most of the natives have been exterminated. But often, as in occupied Algeria, it is the settlers who flee. Eventually, the Palestinians will not be willing to compromise and seek one state for both people. Does the world want to further radicalise them?

Do not be deceived: the persistence of the Palestine problem is the main motive for every anti-American militant in the Arab world and beyond. But now the Bush administration has added Iraq and Afghanistan as additional grievances. America has lost its influence on the Arab masses, even if it can still apply pressure on Arab regimes. But reformists and elites in the Arab world want nothing to do with America.

A failed American administration departs, the promise of a Palestinian state a lie, as more Palestinians are murdered. A new president comes to power, but the people of the Middle East have too much bitter experience of US administrations to have any hope for change. President-elect Obama, Vice President-elect Biden and incoming secretary of state Hillary Clinton have not demonstrated that their view of the Middle East is at all different from previous administrations. As the world prepares to celebrate a new year, how long before it is once again made to feel the pain of those whose oppression it either ignores or supports?
http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article21588.htm

Guardian Angel at Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone, especially PHD, if he reads this. Always believe in your Guardian Angel. She is the one who loves you always.

Where we live has embedded electricity, phone and internet. The company buys the utilities at a cheaper price, and sells to us, also at a cheaper price.

The embedded supplier has gone into receivership, and the receiver has cut our internet, thankfully left the power on, and downgraded our phone lines to bare minimum.

Until the company sorts this out with the receiver, we are stuck. I am doing this at work. So to everyone, have a great Christmas, and a safe and happy New Year.

By the way, no net is driving me NUTS!!!

Angels Treasure

An emotive portrait by itself, without taking into account the memory of a child that is lost to you.

The meaning of lost doesn't necessarily mean dead. There are many ways to lose a child, death is one that I have already experienced. Drugs and alcohol are two more, but you love them always, no matter what.

I've been told to implement "tough love", a strategy for a parent to use in times of crises. I don't think I can do it, I'm not that strong.

I keep waiting for a call that says he is dead, or one that says he has had another heart attack, due to drug and alcohol abuse. Note: I said 'another'.

For months I have been unable to sleep, except on rare occasions. For months every time my head hits the pillow, I have panic attacks. Every time I shut my eyes his face appears. I don't know what to do any more. In my own way, I am as lost as he is.

I have had this pic for months, I have written about it many times and not published anything. It's to damn hard.

NO ANGEL HALOSCAN COMMENTS

A word of warning about Haloscan. Several really: Don't use their system.

I went looking for my old comments at Haloscan and found you can't access them because they are archieved. How do you access your comments? This is where the almighty $$$$$ come in. You have to pay for an upgraded account, then magically, they become UN archieved!

Don't ask for help in their forum's, you get ridiculed, and definitely won't get any help at all.

How do you uninstall Haloscan? Next to impossible if you have used the auto install method. I went searching for help and found something that was supposed to work, went into edit html, and the bit I was suppose to clip (in 3 different places) was the 'blogger' original html. Haloscan html wasn't there.

I went searching again, and after reading half the night, came to the conclusion it was impossible. There are literally 2,020 questions asking how to UN INSTAll Haloscan.

I found the only way to do it is to install a new template, which is what I did, but all the comments have gone.

Anyone know how to get them back? HELP Yes, I did back up my blog, but have no idea about how to get my comments back.

A Special Day for Angel - Revised

It is definitely a special day for Angel.

I met my cousins for the first time. They are both gorgeous, and down to earth. We have so much in common, it's eerie!

They're AMERICAN, and have never voted for Bush, don't you just love 'em?

Anti war, anti OIL, anti Middle East meddling, anti Bush, and pro Obama. What more could a girl ask for? I'm in heaven.

I won't say more at the moment, we have another 2 days of talking to go, so a whole lot more info to come.

Just one thing. They speak funny!!! Not really, they were both surprisingly easy to understand, unlike another US rellie.

We talked and ate, talked and ate. I think we were all worn out!

It was very different for me, having someone related, apart from Mum. It was special, I guess you could say. Overwhelming, more people to love and again leave.

To my beautiful cousins:

Shlamee oo khoobee. Gatee pesgeenee t'kharro deeman'e.

http://wwwyesterdayschildrenbook.com/

Angel the Ice Queen

There are many times in my life where I have been called the "Ice Queen.

The reason? Because I don't show emotion. I never react at the time disaster strikes, it's always behind closed doors, when everyone is tucked up, and fast asleep.

I guess the posts going back to The Bag in the Cupboard, parts 1, 2, and 3, are the one's to hi light the reason behind the name.

I can tell a story as the 'third' party looking in, although in fact I am usually one of the main characters. Most of my posts are real life experiences and looking back, I know when the pattern commenced.

I know exactly how long it will take me to react to a disaster, pinpoint to the hour that I will allow myself to cry, and know when I will have the required repercussion to the event, a panic attack or two, maybe three.

I have the ability to be involved, yet remain apart at the same time. Until that particular time comes, when I fall apart. Hence the title, "Ice Queen". Do I deserve the title? I struggle to keep everyone together in a crisis, when they are falling apart, I sacrifice a part of me to keep them together.

I have been asked to read a Eulogy. I don't think I can do it, in fact I know I cannot. Not only that, I don't want to do it. The reason? I will lose my title, and cry. People will make a fuss, I'll get comments like "that's a first", or "look, she's crying."

I want to keep my title intact. The question is, at what cost?

I might add that "Ice", the word, is much closer to my family than I would like it to be.

http://wwwyesterdayschildrenbook.com/

Blogocracy - Farewell

Blogocracy was the first blog I made a comment on. I read and watched for weeks before I had the nerve to write something.

I met some great people there, some of whom I keep in touch with. One of my "blue" friends, Grandfanali, took his own life. I cried my heart out when I heard. We had some great conversations, funny and sad.

John McP was great with facts and figures, you could always count on orang for backup on ME topics, Elise with a level head, Often Bark has :) bad taste in music, (sorry) sometimes, although he, orang and Tim gave me lessons on great guitarists, it didn't work. There is always a nasty pasty, I won't mention names, who gave me grief. Two of them. There are so many names there, without faces, that are 'friends' of a kind. A part of my life for such a long time.

Of course, it all would have been impossible without Tim. Thankyou Tim, for giving me some great entertainment, serious discussions on topics close to my heart. I didn't stop reading, I stopped commenting on everything that was serious. There was, and still is a reason, but will keep that to myself, for the time being.

Anyway, thanks to everyone. It was my pleasure to be a part of it.

http://wwwyesterdayschildrenbook.com/

Catching the Falling Angel

Some of us fly high and some of us fall. This is a falling time.

I had never heard of Polycystic Kidney Disease or Pernicious Aneamia, until yesterday. Today I was educated. I really didn't want to know, prefer to bury my head in the sand. It's autosomal dominant.

One phone call said it all. I was shocked, didn't believe what I was hearing, this is not happening, can't be happening.

At this time, she has refused Dialysis, and she is having an allergic reaction to the B12 injections, therefore needs blood transfusions. For the rest of whatever life she has left. There is no quick fix, actually there is no fix at all.

"Hello?" Her: " I want you to do something for me" Me: "Hmmm, does it need to be done today? Oh, you better tell me what it is first." Her: "I want you to organise an Enduring Power of Attorney" Me: "A what?" Her: "An Enduring Power of Attorney" Me: "What is it, and what's it for?"

The explanation was hard, the implications worse, the prognosis shocking. What do you say after hearing that? Of course I'll do it, no problems? She's basically telling me she's dying, and needs someone to take care of all aspects of her life. She doesn't want anyone else to do it. I am really angry with her. Go and get another opinion, do something. I don't want to do this, it's not my job, give it to someone else.

Me: .....................................................................................silence. Her: "Helloooo!! Are you listening?" (Of course I'm bloody listening, I'm dying inside, I don't know what to say) Me: "Um, OK. When do you want me to do it?" Her: "As soon as possible. Don't procrastinate, just organise it". Me: "Of course I'll do it, I'll get to it sometime this week, as soon as I can organise a day off". Her: "Allright, I'll hear from you soon. Bye".

The next day: Me: "Hi Mum" Her: "Hi Angel". Me: "How are you?" Her: "I'm well, and how are you?" (What do you mean, you're well? You're not well, you just told me yesterday that you weren't) Me: "I'm good". Her: "I forgot to tell you yesterday that Dr P said I needed to let you know that the PKD is autosomal dominent, and you need to tell your Doctor as soon as possible". Me: "And that means what, exactly?" Her: "It's hereditary, there is a 50% chance you have it, your Grandmother had them and both your Aunts, as well.". Me: "When did you find out all of this?" Her: "Oh, years ago, but I didn't take much notice, I used to call them 'polkadots on my kidneys, and they have spread to my liver and pancreas as well". Me: "When did you know it was hereditary?" Her: "Yesterday, Dr. P thought I already knew because I've had it for such a long time, before he became my Doctor. Me: OK, thanks. I'll make an appointment to see Dr. C .

I'll be in touch as soon as I've sorted somethign out".

http://wwwyesterdayschildrenbook.com/

The Opposite of an Angel

I wasn't ready to write on the topic of Assyrians, Iraq or the Middle East, and I'm still not right. But...... if ever there was one, this is it.

It seems the Turks are at it again. Will they never let go of the Assyrians? Like a Bull Terrior with a vice like grip. I'm not saying all Assyrians are Angels, but there has to be a limit of endurance somewhere down the line.

The historical persecution of Assyrians through the centuries, especially by Kurds and Turks is very well documented. To this day, the Kurds ignore it, and the Turks deny it. There is still living proof of long gone massacres, yet they may as well not exist.

According to the UN, and it's Indigenous People of the World Council, Assyrians are the indigenous people of Iraq. Yet they are ignored, again and again, and for what purpose?

Total control. They have been trying for centuries, yet they can't quite get there. The "poor" Kurds are unable to whip the Christians into submission, so they kill them instead. Bravo.
http://wwwyesterdayschildrenbook.com/

Believe in Angels

Angels are everywhere? Oh,you poor things. I have enough trouble with just me, let alone any more Angels.

I had the pits of a weekend. I did a major stuff up at work, actually I didn't do it, but I didn't check something I should have, instead I assumed. I got my backside kicked, too.

I deserved it, but I don't like being wrong. Therein lies the problem. Like a naughty child, I answered back. Because "she, who can do no wrong" is always right. That's not me, by the way, that's one of the other employees. She is always right, even if she's wrong.

After all these years of multiple people complaining about her, being fed up with the lies coming from her mouth, she is still believed. Customers complain about her, and she gets away with it.

Why? She makes money for the company, that's why. She's loyal, and they own her, body and soul. I could give names of at least 60 people who have made a verbal complaint against her, but because of the industry I work in, will not formalise in writing. They are, I guess you could call them vunerable. They are not at a strong point in their lives. is the only way I can put it without telling you exactly what industry it is.

Apart from that, I don't want to get into any more trouble!!! I email the boss now and then, but have to make sure I use my other email address, just in case she happens accross my ramblings here.

My team lost the Grandfinal on Saturday, but they weren't humiliated. They played a good game most of the time, but why did they send Gary Ablett to the back line, instead of forward at the beginning? Never mind, there is always next year.

Next post I hope to be back to 'normal', although I am told 'normal' is a cycle on a washing machine.

Angels Eye (RAQ)

For the first time in ages I am starting to feel good, like my old self, with out the old bit.

I've read the comment sections on 2 blogs, instead of just reading the article. I haven't done that in ages, and I remember why I stopped.

Some people make the most inane remarks. I wonder if they can see their lack of sensitivity on certain topics, you know, the one's close to my heart

For instance on Last of Iraqis, the following: Iraq is not a major conflict. Is that supposed to be a joke, or is the commenter just a clutz?

I have yet to read Arab Woman Blues comment section. Who knows what one will find there.

In other news, my Mum's book has been reviewed and made front page news here, and has also been reviewed in the USA. Many thanks to my cousin, who's hard work has paid off. Mum received her first Royalty cheque today. Not much, but better than nothing.

Janice is missing again, but I have found B. I have been very neglectful of my blogging friends, and sites I usually comment on. Apologies to all. Sh*t happens in your life that you have no control over, when that happens I don't talk, or should I say don't write and/or communicate.
http://wwwyesterdayschildrenbook.com/

Pretending Republican Angel

Hello Cousins!

The rellies are coming to visit. All the way from the USA. Two cousins I have never met, one of which I talk to via email, and the other doesn't have a computer, as far as I know. They will arive on the 18th of November.

The Democrats did it! It wasn't me, honestly. I didn't write all that insulting stuff, it was someone else.

It was one of those Democrats. Truly. No, Cranium Departus (Republican)

They are only staying a few days in the sticks. I don't know their views on the Middle East. I only know one cousin's views, but she isn't one of my visitors. One holds a similar viewpoint to me, regarding 'alternative' beliefs. I know she is a brilliant editor, and very clever with words.

Time to be nice, I think. :)
http://wwwyesterdayschildrenbook.com/

Angry Mad Angels

Have I or haven't I? Gone mad, that is .I have taken down more posts about work. Decided if I kept putting things in the public eye, I would end up ????. Somewhere I shouldn't be.

So, a different topic for a while. A particularly nasty comment about Middle Eastern Christians/Iraqi Christians on Last of Iraqis blog. In fact, I am truly offended by the attitude.

The person has been shocked by comments made by ME Christians. Apparently we don't hold Christian values. How rude and obnoxious.

What about the KKK Christian values? Home grown terrorism, right in their own back yard. Are Americans proud of that and have the KKK values rubbed off on ordinary Americans? Rape, shoot, hang and burn. Hmmm, I may have a point there, shall we turn our heads towards Iraq for a few minutes?

What about the Christian values of militant groups in Northern Ireland? They make bombs, kill, and burn. That must be different sort of terrorism, because there are no Muslims about.

What a load of BS.
Apologies to Ian.
http://wwwyesterdayschildrenbook.com/

Angels Feathers Falling Out

I think my wings are falling off, from lack of use. Something is very weird and strange. What is it? NOTHING, that's what's strange.

Everything is flowing smoothly, see what I mean? Think I like it, and could get used to it very easily.

The job seems to be working out, the car is great, I have the whole weekend off, and I am not homesick. I have even got used to not seeing Diesel.

See what I mean? NORMAL, well nearly. Janice has gone missing, along with B, and I hope they are OK.

I have got hooked on a game, which is not like me at all. It is mesmerising, and all I do all night is shoot balls. It is Absolutist Bubbles. I haven't blogged, nor opened my email for a couple of weeks.

Maybe it is me who has gone missing? Probably. I have tried not to play, but I have to, it's like a drug. Not that I take drugs, well only prescription one's.

I danced in front of an audience for the first time in 4 years, it was impromptu, but fun. I have lost a little of the 'flow' with the movement. Something that was a little different for me, I didn't have a glass of gin and half a tranquiler beforehand. That was probably because it wasn't planned, and I didn't agonise over it prior to. Anyway, the best thing was everyone had a little fun, and we all need fun in our lives now and then.